The Uncommon

I don't know what wave of feminism we are in now, but the current wave is dark.

I am a woman who grew up in the 80s and came of age in the 90s. During the time I grew up, I never once felt oppressed or that I couldn't choose to pursue any life I wanted. I felt that I could speak freely, share opinions and have conversations with others without living on eggshells.

I grew up believing men could be men, women could be “traditional women” or a #tradwife , if she wanted. She could also choose a path that could take her to the C-suite of any corporation, a path to pursue the presidency or a path to be a truck driver. Whatever she wanted. I could be, say, do and feel whatever I wanted and it was generally accepted. Be that as it may, I was born a female and am straight.

There were several waves of women before me who fought to make these freedoms possible for me, as an American female. They fought for my right to vote, my right to work if I wanted, obtain individual credit and bank accounts, stay home and raise a family or literally do anything that I wanted and live the life that I chose. There were also waves of women who made it possible to work in a safe environment, protected from sexual harassment and defended my right to choose abortion, if it was something I ever needed.

Have I ever been sexually harassed? Sure. Who hasn't been? When I say who, I mean women and men. Was I ever raped? No. Being sexually harassed happened quite a bit, but I learned to ignore and how to avoid putting myself in situations where that could occur. If one can listen to and obey their intuition, rape is easy to avoid. Trust your gut, stay away from people who seem “off” and stay out of situations that can lead to it. I know that seems impossible for some.

The current wave of feminism seems to have no real purpose for women. The purpose, as it seems is for people of other genders who choose to identify as women. In my view, this is not #feminism ; it is something else entirely.

Reading the intro to my views growing up above, I am not sure what else there is to fight for. The fight appears to be against men as a whole, which is also not feminism.

I have personally been in an oppressed situation when I was married to my ex-husband. Yes, there was manipulation and trickery on his end to get me to marry him in the first place. He was a compulsive liar, a #sociopath and became an emotionally abusive monster the second I said “I do”. Guess what though; I had the freedom to take the steps to get out of it, and I did.

Here is another novel concept, the situation did not make me hate men; it made me dislike the person. I have known men who have been in similar situations with sociopathic, emotionally abusive women. This has nothing to do with sex, gender or patriarchy; only individuals. The situation simply taught me about the character of people, red flags, signals and what to avoid.

Unrelated pro tip: If they are way too into you when you first meet and they want to progress the relationship really quickly; they might be a sociopath. Be on your guard.

Bottom line is that I do not identify with modern, radical feminists. Not in the least. To me, it is an attack on traditional values and those who choose to live within them. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a patriarchal household, if people choose to live that way. There is nothing wrong with a matriarchal household, a same-sex household, a single household or any household. Who give a sh*t? I don't know why people can't simply live how they want to live without some form of hate thrown at each group. If that is not how you want or choose to live, then choose to live the way you want and mind your damned business.

Free people who choose to live differently deserve the same freedoms that you deserve.

Radical feminism oppresses men, and in the worst way. The movement is making it impossible for men to exist, express opinions, feel, think and progress and it is damaging society, for everyone.

I see men accused and lives ruined, based on the words of women. Whether they did it or not, an accusation is a societal death sentence and it is not ok. Women know this and worse, young girls know this and are starting to use it as a weapon. As a mother to a teenage son, it is beyond frightening. A man's life can be ruined with simple words, which is a topic I will be delving into in future posts.

Radical feminism oppresses me because I do not feel safe enough in this modern American society to share these thoughts and views publically, or even privately among my peers. 30 years ago, I could have.